The Face of Hate
by Zow-Katow
Summary: All Clyde wanted was to be his lab partner. But that Stupid little jew had to get in the way. Kyle/Cart Clyde/Cart sort of.
1. The Kid We Love to Hate

Why does he have to be so goddamn charming?

I hate him, I really do. Everyone does, seeing Wendy beat his stupid fat face in should bring me joy. I mean, it does, a little. But when he starts crying that everyone hates him I can't bear to speak up.

Why can't I just hate him? Kyle does it just fine, Craig and Token practically want him dead.

"Every time I think of that fatass I wanna puke," Craig says in his monotone voice.

"How can those assholes even sit with him?" Token gestures towards Stan, Kyle and Kenny.

"Because they're dumbasses! I bet it was his stupid fucking idea to take my money and land us in motherfucking Peru."

"You really need to get over that."

Craig flashed his middle finger, shooting one last glare toward the aforementioned boys.

They do this daily, bitch about everybody they hate. I just stay quiet and eat my pudding cup while Tweek sips his coffee.

"Jesus Christ have you ever-- ngh! Gone on an adventure with them?!" Tweek managed to force out through his ticks, "It's pretty--gah! Hard to g-get over!"

We all exchange looks, knowing Tweek still has night terrors about their run-in with the underpants gnomes.

Then just like that all attention is on me. Fuck, I haven't bitched about them yet! Okay let's see... Kenny called me a fag the other day. But he does that all the time, fuck there's gotta be something to complain about!

"Clyde are you gonna eat that or just spoon-rape it," Craig shoots at me, not so much as a question but as an excuse to steal my food.

"Oh God, Clyde! You are--ngh! Aren't anorexic now, are you?! Shit here t-take my coffee!" Tweek starts panicking and shoves his coffee at me, spilling bits of it in my lap in the process.

"Tweek! Back off these jeans are new! And isn't coffee a hunger suppressant??!" That set him off, he's like a lawn sprinkler now the way he's jittering. Fucking great.

"So he speaks!" Token announces, "What's up your ass? And why'd you have to take it out on Spaz?"

"Nothing, fuck!" I try to wipe the coffee off my pants with a flimsy napkin, no luck.

"Clyde, looks like you've got a bad case of explosive diarrhea! Probably from all that anal, fag!"

I look up, and of course Eric fucking Cartman is standing by our table while I clean coffee out of my crotch. I can feel my face turn bright-ass red.

"You would know." I reply lamely.

He chuckles and walks back to his table, wait wasn't he just there? Oh, I see, he got up and got seconds.

What a fatass.

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Even after the spectacle in the cafeteria, I can't help but admire Eric Cartman. He really is brilliant, most of the time. I don't know how he does it but his grades are always As and Bs. It makes me feel like a total dumbass. I'd love to have him tutor me, but I'd never be able to live it down. I'll take all the Cs and Ds in the world to keep my sad excuse for a reputation.

"Okay class, time for the mid-term project. Everyone grab a partner." The teacher says loudly.

And the class falls into anarchy.

Craig runs toward me as if to claim me, then gets paired up with Tweek.

Token starts my way but gets stolen by Bebe.

Stan and Wendy, Butters and Kenny, suddenly all who's left his me and Eric.

Cartman, that is.

This is my chance to be his partner! "Well I guess we're the only ones--"

"Well Kaaahl, looks like it's just you and me! I was thinking about doing a little piece on World War II"

"This is Chemistry, retard."

And just like that my chance is gone.

My dream stomped on.

By that stupid little ginger in the green hat.

And now I'm stuck with Pip.

That jew is going down.

**A/N: My first attempt at a multi-chaptered story. No idea where I'm going with this.**


	2. Jolly Good Show

**A/N: Wow thanks for the reviews. The first chapter moved a little faster than I normally write, so sorry if it didn't flow well. Maybe I'll fix it up later.**

**As for this chapter, I think it's a little better written. I love writing Pip, he's so british. And yeah 'On shantie' is supposed to be 'enchanté' but it's Clyde, he's not that bright.**

**Oh and sorry the chapters are so short... I have a short attention span.**

I hate this stupid french piece of crap. He keeps saying things like 'rather' and 'jolly good'. I'd rather like to give him a jolly good kick in the face.

Whatever, this fag's practically doing the whole project for me.

This is a perfect time to formulate my plan. Here it is so far:

Phase 1) Kick Kyle's ass

Phase 2)

Phase 3) Become Cartman's new best friend

It's perfect. The only problem is phase one, I'm not exactly the most fit kid in school. Kyle plays basketball and his overprotective pussy of a friend plays football. How can I compete with that? I knew I should've taken weight training with Token and Jimmy.

I could always call in some favors, but then again Kyle's so well liked. Maybe there's another way to get Kyle out of the picture.

Why do I wanna be best friends with Cartman again?

Oh yeah, so he can tutor me in Chemistry... I think.

"Clyde, oh dear! Are you alright old chap? You look a bit distracted, have you been writing down the data?"

Oh shit have I? I look at my paper... All I've done is write 'Eric Cartman' fifty times and doodled Kyle being eaten my rabid turkeys. Fuck.

"I um... you said it was my job to, uh, draw atoms or something," I think he did say that between all the 'pip pip cheerios' and the 'on shanties'.

"Right-o, my good man! I suppose I'll take down the data while you construct the molecules!"

Right-o indeed old bean.

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Look at them, they make me sick. Arguing like an old married couple, it's like they're making out... through insults or something.

"Well maybe if you did something other than stuff your face with cheezy poofs we'd be done already!" His stupid ginger stupid hands made stupid angry fists at that.

"I told you, dickhole, me starving to death doesn't count as a science expiriment. You'll have to come up with something better if you want us to get an A."

I snorted, way to put that bitch in his place. Maybe Eric'd kill Kyle on his own and I'd have nothing to worry about.

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"Dude can I borrow your history notes?"

I looked up at Craig, he really thought I took notes?

"Not you Clyde I was talking to Tweek"

Tweek jumped at his name, "Wha-what?! History notes?! Jesus Christ I can't even pay attention in that class! Too many assassinations man! Politicians are crazier than--"

"--you?" I joked, earning Craig's middle finger.

"Fine, maybe I'll ask kyle, where the fuck is he?" his little blue earflaps flipped around as he scanned the room.

Oh yeah, Kyle's in this study hall too. Or he is usually... where is he? He must've gone to the bathroom, maybe this is my chance to get him alone. I pocket a pair of safety scissors... maybe I can shank him... safely.

"I've gotta take a piss," I announce getting up quickly, dashing for the bathroom pass before Craig can make a 'thanks for the news flash' joke.

I slip out the door like a ninja, I feel so 'Mission Impossible'. Ha, I can even hear the music as I turn the corner towards the bathroom.

Phew, okay almost there, you can do this Clyde, he's not that tough. I prep myself at the bathroom door, wait, shit what if he's peeing? I can't kick his ass while his wang hangs out. I press my ear to the door cautiously. Well, I can hear him in there, he sounds weird... I open the door a little and peer inside.

I can barely see Kyle, yeah he's definitely in there. There's someone else in there too... they're talking.

"If you want this fucking project done I have to get back to class," That's Kyle, I can tell my his stupid jew voice.

"Maybe you'd have it done if you could keep your junk in your pants," Who's that? Sounds familiar...

"It's be easier if you kept your hands out of them, fatass!" no way...

"Don't pretend you don't love it" It's him, it's Cartman!

I had to look, I couldn't believe it, I had to see. Why'd I have to look, there they are. Cartman has him pinned to wall, his tongue half-way down his throat.

I think I'm gonna puke.


End file.
